i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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