when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
