Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
