It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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