You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
