can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
