I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
