We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
