Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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