Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
