How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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