dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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