used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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