Its about making memories worth repressing
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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