The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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