Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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