Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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