I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
