I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
not ubering you a puppy
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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