the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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