to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
