Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize