I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
