Having a random hookup so left but love u
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
