I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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