my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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