I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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