Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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