If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
