if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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