you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
