Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
