Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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