Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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