The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
