we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
