Cold hands, warm shart.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize