he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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