I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
