i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
