What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
