one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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