i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
