tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have post one night stand depression
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