my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
