I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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