he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
