FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
