I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
