There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize