wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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