I've blown a few things in my day
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
