Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
