Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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