that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
