I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
whose parrot is this?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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