I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just google imaged poop.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
