you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
