Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
