Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
honey bunches of taint.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
