He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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