it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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