I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize