whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hippo gnu deer
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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