You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
